I've created a new live journal account. I decided that this one's too gloomy and I have posted an update in ages.

My new journal is:

http://sagefire1204.livejournal.com/

Anyone who wants to add me feel free to, I've posted some entries from stuff that happened earlier this year. I've tried to get as up-to-date as possible.

?:
When darkness shrouds your world what do you do? Do you run and hope it's all a bad dream? Do you fight for your own existence even though deep down you know that you can't fight forever? Or do you try to just exist within the darkness?
If you choose to exist in the darkness your life will be changed forever, you may never know the light again. Yet can you run or fight forever? Will you give in when you release there is no other way?

Me:
Do you question my strength? I may not be able to fight the darkness forever, but what makes you so sure I will give in. What makes you so sure of its power? Do you really think it can hold me forever?

?:
Your strength, what strength is that? You're almost on your knees at the moment and the real battle hasn't even started. Face it the darkness wil consume you.

Me:
You haven't got a clue have you? You don't know me at all. Darkness may have a small hold on everyone but that does not mean that they are controlled by it.

?:
Doesn't it? Just look, your rage is building now. Your rational mind is being clouded.

Me:
You seem to be forgetting one thing, the darkness will never completely control me. There's always one light, a light that comes from the fire in my heart. Darkness will never destroy that, it can not smother that fire.

?:
Maybe not, but that does not mean darkness will just give up. It will eat at your very soul, bit by bit until you give in.

Me:
You seem sure of yourself, I will never give in.

?:
We'll see...

? dissipates into the shadows

'Isn't it amazing the effect music has on people? Listening to the battle music just before going into battle gives you energy. The energy that is needed to keep going, of course there has to be more than just that energy driving you. Yet all the energy you get helps.' I think to myself as the war drums start blasting their energetic beat. Getting faster and faster, i can feel the energycoursing through my veins.

'Like fire and lightning.' The words of an old friend echo in my head. I know that it will soon be time. The waiting is worse than the actual battle. The outcome...who knows? But the drums make us believe that we will win. It won't be easy, and people will get hurt. But what do you do when all other options have been diminished?

When a phoenix resurrects itself from its ashes what does it take with it from one life to the next? Its soul and that's about it. How do humans manage to collect so much stuff? When it comes to sorting it out no one knows where to start. No one ever wants to get rid of stuff due to their sentimental bond with it, but what happens when they are forced to? Do they try to become more like the phoenix and take as little as possible? Why can sorting out be so hard when all they really need is the essentials?

The strength i recieve when we're together is unbelievable. Even when we're not talking about the upcoming battle you make me feel safe. Energised. I know i can do this, all i have to do is focus.

Your words penetrate even the deepest of doubts and reassure me. Thanks to you i know it'll be ok. One way or another everything will work out.

You heal my broken wings and encourage me to keep on going, to keep on fighting and never to give. We will win this together.

Our thoughts are one as i prepare. I put on my aromour with pride, i practise my sword skills with focus. I know no matter what happens we'll be together. That alone has given me the strength i need.

I know there maybe times when my strength fails and fear grips me again, but all i have to do is stop and remember that you're always with me and i will start to regain my strength.

I think to myself as i kneel by a long forgotten shrine. How can I carry on hiding behind this mask? I'm no warrior, i don't have the strength. Strength? Strength only masks the true fear. I don't even know what I'm scared of. Confused would sum me up, but i don't have time for this. I have to sort so much out, stuff that needs to be sorted out before the war starts.

War. I know this one can't be avoided, but how am i meant to fight when i don't have the strength? What do you do when you know the countdown has already started?

My wings twitch slightly on my back. I want to stretch my wings and fly out into the night sky, yet nothing is ever that easy.

Tears streak down my face, i just leave them. What's the point in brushing them away if more are going to take their place?

What am I meant to do?

A solider waits for the demons to pour out of hell, as he waits he thinks of those that he loves. He's doing this for them, the words of his girlfriend ringing in his head. "It'll be ok, no matter what happens I'll always love you and i'll always be with you." Tears start to form in the solider's eyes, fiercely he wipes them away. 'This is no time for weakness' he thinks to himself as he grips his sword tighter.

A noise rippled through the air, loud and beast like the solider knows the time has almost come. The demons have started their warcry, all across the battlefield the ground starts to shake. The demons are making their move, hell has risen and soon it will be here.

The solider's girlfriend's voice speaks in his mind, "You're not alone in this, I'm always with you." The voice of his girlfriend soothes him and lessens the fear of what is to come. The solider's knuckles are now white from clenching the sword so hard. 'It's just a matter of time' the solider thinks to himself as he waits for the demons to reach him.

Take the Mage quiz.

Hehe, mutedfaith do the best quizes. They've moved their quizes to http://onnachance.com/stuff.php

Blood red flames violently run through my veins, all running to one point. My back. In a moment of pain they explode and out of my back sprouts beautiful deep red wings. The wings, however, are not to stay for a few seconds later they burst into flames of the deepest red. I can feel their anger, rage, and sorrow. There's nothing i can do.

Harwell labs are interested in me, all i need to do is update my CV and send it to them. Should be quite cool. I've gotta send my CV to the ict place in Goring too. Then i've got a connexions meeting on monday about jobs and stuff.

Smoke from the incense stick wafts around the room, following invisible pathways. I sat before the candlelit altar meditating. These next battles are merely tests, tests to see what we're made of. I have to remain focussed within these battles, otherwise i will fail. Failing is not an option, I've worked too hard to just fail. I clenched my fists in slight anger before slowly calming down and unclenching my fists.

These battles may not decide where in the country i end up, but I do know that they are important. Thoughts of the future drift into my mind. The future, i thought inside my head, no one can predict it. Yet it is an incentive to do well.

The words of the wise one enter my head, "You can only do your best, no one can ask anymore of you." I reflected on that as the candles flickered slightly, making the shadows on the walls of the hidden temple dance. 'I may not be a super warrior or anything like that. All I can do is try, try my hardest. Then hopefully I will pass these trials and the doors to the future will once again open.' I thought to myself. I had so many ideas for the future, some of which did not even depend on these battles.

I knew along time ago these battles were meant as tests. Now it was almost time for the next set of battles, I had prepared as much as I could. Waiting was the worst bit, i had to stay calm and focused. The Jasmine scent of the incense wafted past my nose and helped calm me.

A woman entered the temple and slightly walked over to where i was meditating. She sat cross legged next to me, i could sense her presence and even her thoughts. I heard her voice in my head as she reached telepathically out to me, "The trials will be okay, you will succeed. Remember this, if nothing else, no matter what we'll get through this together. We'll always be together, nothing will break us apart."
"Thank you." I replied telepathically, "You're right. I'll give these trials all of my energy, will complete them to the best of my ability. That's all i can really do."
"I'm proud of you, I know you'll do well." Her voice said in my mind.
"Thank you, I'm ready." I replied to her.

We both got up silently and blew out the candles. The incense stick had long been burnt, now all that was left was the stub. We walked hand in hand out of the temple and back home I knew i would need rest for the trials the next day.

Once in bed, we cuddled up together. I gazed into her eyes, "Good night, i love you." She whispered in my ear before gently kissing my lips.
"I love you too" I replied before i faded into the realms of sleep.

The final chapter to my story. It's been great writing this, I know I have to proof read it and everything, but still.

Hope you enjoy...

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This was meant to be the last chapter to my story, but i realised i need 1 more chapter in my story. The next chapter will come soon.

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Here's the penultimate (1 before last) chapter of my story. Hope you enjoy...

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Only 2 chapters left of the story to go. I no it's a late update, but i haven't been in the right mood recntly for writing. Today i found a lot of inspiration. Enjoy...

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More story, i know it's been ages since i updated (story wise and noraml wise). I needed to think a bit more about the story, now i have every aspect of it planned out. Also recently i haven't had much time to do the story, but still. Here is the next chapter.

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Chapter 11 of the story, only 5 or 6 chapters left I think...

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